The 2025 baseball season has come and gone, leaving behind a trail of statistics that range from the sublime to the ridiculous. For fans of Tim Mayza, the left-handed reliever with a heart of gold and an ERA that occasionally resembled a London telephone number, the year was a rollercoaster. Mayza, who once upon a time was a reliable arm out of the bullpen for the Toronto Blue Jays and New York Yankees, found himself in 2025 pitching for the Pittsburgh Pirates. And by "pitching", we mean he was legally required to stand on a mound and throw a baseball, though the results were often more comedic than competitive. His statistics in 2025 read like a warning label: a 5.12 ERA, a 1.58 WHIP, and more walks than a confused tourist in Piccadilly Circus. He struck out 47 batters in 52 innings, which sounds decent until you realise he also walked 28 and gave up seven home runs. His left arm, once a weapon, became more of a suggestion. But fear not, dear reader, because we're going to dive into these numbers with the humour they deserve. After all, baseball statistics are just numbers until you realise they can also be an apology letter to fans. And if anyone owes an apology, it's a reliever whose fastball averaged 92.5 mph but whose slider sometimes forgot to slide.
If Tim Mayza's 2025 season were a product on a shelf, it would come with a recall notice. That's why the image above—a Japanese apology letter template for defective goods—feels so appropriate. Mayza's 2025 stats are the baseball equivalent of a faulty toaster: you put in your trust, and out comes burnt toast. In 52 innings pitched, he allowed 30 earned runs, struck out 47 batters, and walked 28. His home run rate was 1.21 per nine innings, which is roughly the same as a British barbecue's success rate. Opposing batters hit .280 against him, and lefties—the very people he was supposed to dominate—hit .300. His FIP of 4.89 suggests that even without the defence behind him, he was still serving up meatballs like a generous Italian nonna. But here's the thing: Tim Mayza is not a bad pitcher. He's a pitcher who had a bad year, and in the grand tradition of British humour, we can only laugh. His fastball averaged 92.5 mph, which is fine, but his command was like a sat-nav in a tunnel. The man himself remained professional, probably apologising to his catchers after every outing. So if you're a Pirates fan, take heart: the only way is up. And if you're Tim Mayza, maybe just send out this apology letter template to every batter you faced. It's the least you can do. After all, in baseball statistics 2025, Tim Mayza's numbers are a perfect example of why we love the game—and why we sometimes need a strong cup of tea.