Days Of Our Lives Comings And Goings

If there is one skill the good people of Salem have perfected — beyond amnesia, secret twins and weddings that implode before the cake is sliced — it is arriving and departing with all the subtlety of a brass band in a library. Days of Our Lives comings and goings are essentially the show's cardio: somebody storms out of the pub in high dudgeon, somebody else materialises from absolutely nowhere claiming to be a long-lost relative, and the hospital rota changes faster than the weather in Manchester. So here is your thoroughly unserious round-up of who is shuffling in, who is sloping off, and why nobody in this town has ever once used the front door like a normal human being.

Salem's Rotating Cast: The Door That Never Stays Shut

Every few weeks, Salem performs its favourite party trick. A familiar face disappears on a mysterious "business trip" that somehow requires no suitcase, no plane ticket and no explanation, while a brand-new arrival rocks up clutching a secret, a grudge, or — ideally — both. Departing characters almost never leave quietly. They exit mid-argument, having just dropped a bombshell that everyone will collectively forget until sweeps week, when it will return with the dramatic force of a wet flannel. Meanwhile, the newcomers are always tall, always suspiciously well-dressed, and always somehow related to somebody who has been living in that town since the year dot. You could set your watch by it, if your watch also had a habit of faking its own death.

Returning Legends and Other Minor Miracles

Nothing warms the heart quite like a returning legend, does it? A character you were fairly certain had shuffled off this mortal coil turns up at the pub, orders a drink and behaves as though they merely popped out for a paper. Nobody questions it. Nobody even blinks. In Salem, resurrection is less a miracle and more a scheduling decision. The trick, of course, is working out whether the returnee is genuinely back for good, back for a fortnight, or simply back long enough to ruin somebody's engagement party before vanishing again in a puff of exposition.

Your Unofficial Survival Guide to the Chaos

So how does a viewer keep up? Rule one: never trust a farewell speech, because it is almost certainly a bluff or a plot device. Rule two: if a character mentions moving abroad, start counting the episodes until their taxi inexplicably turns around. Rule three: assume every stranger at the door is hiding at least one paternity bombshell. Frankly, the revolving door of this particular town is exhausting, bewildering and completely addictive — which is precisely why we keep watching, and why Salem's population figures will never, ever make sense.