Picking an Instagram username can feel like trying to name a band, a racehorse and a takeaway order all at once. You want something funny, memorable and just cool enough that your mates do not immediately take the mick — although, let’s be honest, they probably will anyway. Whether you are setting up a fresh account, rebranding after an unfortunate username phase or simply bored of seeing “official” added to everything, the right Instagram username can give your profile a proper bit of personality.
Some usernames never go out of fashion, much like a well-loved jacket or a mate who still tells the same story from school. Try names such as DefinitelyNotDad, LordOfThePints, NachoAverageLad, WiFiWarrior or ProfessionalProcrastinator. These are ideal if your online personality involves sending daft memes, avoiding responsibility and appearing mysteriously whenever there is free food.
If your life revolves around football, the gym, running or pretending you understand rugby tactics, a sporty username could be right up your alley. Consider BenchedButBlessed, GymAndTonic, GoalDiggerNotGoldDigger, RunningLateAgain or SixPackPending. The last one is especially useful if your six-pack is currently hiding behind a respectable amount of snacks.
For lads who spend more time levelling up online than answering messages in real life, gaming usernames are a grand choice. Ideas like WiFiBoss, LaggingLegend, CtrlAltDefeat, RespawnAndRepeat and SideQuestSinner bring a bit of digital mischief to your profile. They also give people fair warning that you may vanish for six hours after saying, “I’ll only play one match.”
Food-themed names are nearly impossible to dislike, mainly because everyone enjoys food and nobody trusts a man who claims he is “not really into chips”. Have a look at SnackAttack, SpudLord, ToastWithAmbition, FullTimeFoodie or ChickenFilletPhilosopher. For a particularly Irish touch, you could even try TaytoTactician or BoxtyBoss.
Short names are easy to remember and look tidy on your profile. Try LadAboutTown, MrMostlyLate, BananaBusiness, GrandSo or OopsMyBad. If your first choice is taken, avoid adding a tragic string of random numbers if possible. Instead, add a clever word, a nickname or a small twist that still sounds intentional.
A good Instagram username should be easy to spell, easy to say and unlikely to make you cringe in three months. Avoid private details such as your full date of birth, home address or school information. Keep it playful, make sure it suits your personality and say it aloud before committing. If it sounds like a dodgy energy drink, perhaps go back to the drawing board. Most importantly, choose something that makes you smile. After all, Instagram is meant to be social — not a formal application for the Department of Serious Usernames.