G'day, internet legends. Ever tried to sign up for something and found your usual username — say, Dazza1987 — is already taken by some bloke in Ballarat? That's when you realise the only way forward is to invent a brand-new word. Not just any word, mind you. A word so cooked, so specific, and so beautifully bogan that no one else on the World Wide Wombat has claimed it. Made-up words for usernames are an art form, like mixing a perfect Milo or reversing a trailer into a tight spot at the tip. Get it right, and you'll be remembered as a ripper. Get it wrong, and you'll sound like a spam bot trying to sell discount thongs.
Now, you might be wondering what a busted femur has to do with made-up usernames. Fair question. The answer is: absolutely nothing, and that's exactly the point. A truly elite made-up username should feel like it came from a fever dream after three flat whites and a Bunnings snag. So if you're stuck, look at random medical diagrams and ask yourself: "Could I turn 'spiral fracture' into a gamer tag?" Yes. Yes, you could. SpiralFractureSanga is now available. CompoundCommo is not, because I just made it up. The trick is to combine two unrelated things — a body part, a food, a native animal, a piece of furniture from your nan's garage — until the result sounds like a word but isn't. FemurFrangipani. TibiaTinnie. PatellaPavlova. See? Nonsense, but memorable nonsense.
One reliable formula is the Aussie animal plus a mildly disappointing human behaviour. Chuck a mozzie, a galah, a bin chicken, and a possum into a blender with your worst habits and you get MozzieMagnet, GalahGiggler, DropBearDodger, BinChickenBandit, HillsHoistHero, or DunnyDiverDazza. Another is food plus action: SnagSnob, SangaSmasher, ChikoRollModel, DimSimDynamo, VegemiteVillain, WeetBixWrecker. If you want to sound like a public servant who has seen too much, try FairDinkumFeral, StrewthNugget, ChuckASickie