Reds Vs Rockies Prediction

Right, settle down there and pour yourself a cup of tea, because we're about to have a proper chinwag about baseball, and by "proper" I mean about as serious as a man trying to eat soup with a fork. The Cincinnati Reds are hosting the Colorado Rockies at Great American Ball Park, and if you're looking for a prediction, you've come to the right place — though I should warn you, my last prediction involved a bet on a horse that turned out to be a donkey in a wig, so take everything with a pinch of salt and a jam doughnut.

There's No Place Like Home (Runs)

Simple black and white outline of a village house, much like the ones the Reds hope to send the Rockies packing to

Look at that grand little house there, would you? A fine, honest outline of a home, and sure isn't that exactly what baseball is all about — getting back to home. The Reds have been playing the part of the good host all season, which is handy, because the Rockies away from Coors Field are about as comfortable as a goldfish at a cat convention. Colorado's pitching away from that mile-high fortress of theirs tends to get pure mortal, and Cincinnati's batters have been licking their lips like a fella staring at the last sausage roll at a funeral. If the Rockies' starter can't keep the ball down, the Reds will be knocking it into the Ohio River before you can say "feck's sake."

The House That Built a Winning Streak

Black and white outline of a schoolhouse style home, representing the lesson the Rockies are about to receive

Now here's the second house, and I'll be honest with you — I'm not entirely sure what all these houses have to do with baseball, but sure look, I've learned not to question the mysteries of the universe. Maybe it's a sign that the Rockies are about to be sent home early, or maybe it's a subtle hint that the Reds are the only ones who know how to protect their own home turf. Either way, this is shaping up to be a schoolhouse of a lesson for Colorado. Their bats can be deadly when they're up in the mountains, but once they're down at sea level in the muggy Ohio air, the ball doesn't carry the same way, and suddenly all those mighty sluggers look like fellas swinging a hurley in a gale. The Reds, meanwhile, have the bullpen to lock things down late, and their young lads are playing with the kind of confidence you'd only normally see in a man who's just discovered a tenner in his winter coat.

The Prediction: Reds Win, Rockies Go Home with the Head Hung

So here's the verdict, and I'm putting the kettle on as I say it: the Reds take this one, and they take it comfortably. Expect Cincinnati to jump out early, the Rockies to make a game of it for a few innings just to keep the craic going, and then the Reds' bullpen to slam the door shut like a man fleeing a wasp. Final score: Reds 6, Rockies 3. And if I'm wrong, sure look, I'll be down the pub pretending I said the other fella all along. Slán, and enjoy the match — may your tea stay warm and your predictions be grander than mine.