Ah now, settle down and put the kettle on, because we're about to talk about the most important thing in the entire world of late-night television — and no, it's not the monologue, it's not the desk, and it's not even the stupidly nice suits. It's Seth Meyers's kids. That's right. While yer man Seth spends his evenings cracking jokes behind a desk in New York, the real comedy gold is happening at home, where three small humans are apparently running the place like a tiny, very chaotic government. And frankly? Fair play to them entirely.
Let's be honest here. Before you have children, you think you know what tired is. Then you have children and you realise that tired is a word invented by people who have never tried to explain to a toddler why the moon insists on following the car. Seth Meyers, who fronts Late Night with the kind of cheerful energy that makes you want to hand him a mug and a blanket, has spoken plenty about the absolute state of his household, and sure, it's the most relatable thing since the invention of the biscuit.
Between him and his wife, Alexi Ashe — a human rights lawyer who clearly has the patience of a saint, because she lives with Seth Meyers — there are three wee ones causing absolute carnage: Ashe Olson Meyers, Axel Strahl Meyers, and a youngest daughter who arrived in 2021 and probably took one look at the place and asked for a refund. Two boys and a girl, which means the Meyers household is essentially a sitcom set, except nobody gave them a script and the audience never leaves. The stories Seth tells on air are pure gold: the kind of bedtime negotiations that would make the UN step in, the toy-related standoffs, and the way a child can turn a five-minute trip to the shop into a two-hour existential crisis over which yoghurt to buy. It's exhausting just listening to it, and yet somehow he makes it sound deadly craic.
Ah, the pandemic years — when the whole world discovered that working from home with children is like trying to do your Leaving Cert while a ceilí rages in the kitchen. Seth, like the rest of us, became a professional at the old "smile through the pain" routine, with kids wandering into frame mid-monologue like they owned the place. And sure, why wouldn't they? They do. Between Axel's uncanny ability to appear at the worst possible moment and Ashe clearly inheriting her da's timing, the Meyers children have delivered more unscripted laughs than most professional comedians ever will — and they're doing it in pyjamas, the little legends.
Here's the thing about Seth Meyers's parenting stories — they're not about perfect parenting. They're about the absolute mess of it all. The sleep deprivation, the tantrums over the wrong-coloured spoon, the moment you realise you've been out-negotiated by a four-year-old, and the small victories, like managing to leave the house with matching socks. It's reassuring, in a grand sort of way, to know that even a man with a television show and a team of writers goes home to the exact same chaos as the rest of us. So here's to the Meyers kids — the true stars of late night, the tiny tyrants who keep us all entertained, and the reason their da looks like he's permanently three coffees behind. Sure look, that's parenting for you. Now if you'll excuse me, there's a toddler somewhere demanding I explain the moon again, and I've no answer for it.